Altelier Ted Noten

Just found a really cool artist on art.sy his work kinda reminded me of my body project implant (only his work is comprised of Gold and Diamonds and looks 1000 times better, but still).  The series was called the "Seven Necessities" 2012. I'd better post all seven images I suppose.

Seven Necessities - Glasses for a Woman on the Warpath, 2012

14K gold, mountain crystal

6 ^7/10 × 5 ^9/10 × 2 ^2/5 in

17 × 15 × 6 cm Noten’s spyglasses are the perfect device for a woman on the warpath. The nylon sunglasses contain many hidden compartments, one of the arms houses an aggressive crystal ice pick. A golden eyebrow completes the story.

Seven Necessities - Chatelaine, 2012

Nylon, glass with PARADISE, diamond, gold

5 ^1/10 × 7 ^1/10 × 2/5 in

13 × 18 × 1 cm Chatelaine is French for ‘mistress of the castle’. The word refers to an 18th and 19th century item: women in charge of their estates wore a decorative clip of long chains holding important household items about the waist. Noten’s chatelaine consists of both functional and decorative items, which testify of the present. The woman who wears it can for instance satisfy her hygienic needs, as there is a portable urination device, which allows her to pee while standing up. But there’s more: she can also show off her wealth and status with the credit card fan. In total there are 12 different modular items, which serve to personalise the chatelaine of her dreams.

 I really want to talk about this piece. I looked up the chatelaine and its one of those archaic items that are just fascinating.  I feel like I want to make my own chatelaine now...maybe use it as a self portrait project. 

Seven Necessities - Beauty Mask, 2012

Nylon, syringe from glass, needle 22K gold-plated, zirconia, glass bottle engraved with flowers-inside towel to disinfect, 18K golden capsule, rubber gloves

6 ^3/10 × 5 ^9/10 × 3 ^1/10 in

16 × 15 × 8 cm  The white mask is a replica of the face of Nefertiti (ca. 1350 BC), the Royal wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh Akhenaten, who was considered a remarkably beautiful woman. Some say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, others claim the perception of beauty depends on hard facts, such as the ideal proportions. Noten created a Nefertiti-mask with tiny holes to inject either ‘botox’ of ‘filler’ in the face that hides behind the mask. The injected fluids will subsequently sculpt the face according to the rules of perfect beauty. In case the beautifying operation does not succeed, a golden suicide pill offers a last resort.

Seven Necessities - White Gun, 2012

Nylon, USB-stick with various images of men, mirror-glass, acrylic bullet containing diamonds silver necklace, 14K white gold hairpin, white lip-gloss, tablets

9 ^4/5 × 4 ^7/10 × 1 ^3/5 in

25 × 12 × 4 cm ‘The weapon of beauty’ is presented in a new shape: Noten’s Dior 002 Gun White Edition. This contemporary must-have gadget is produced on a 3-D printer, then retrofitted with hand-tooled details and loaded with all the ammunition a woman needs to survive the war between the sexes. The gun conceals a 4-gigabyte thumb drive for snapshots, personal data and corporate secrets; it also hides a Dior lip-gloss, a sparkling diamond, various white pills and other necessities any worldly woman would like to carry with her.

seven Necessities - Purse of Wonders, 2011

Crystal ball, mirror-glass, silver 22 K gold plated-lock system and drug paraphernalia, 14K gold (engraved wedding ring); 18K gold decoration-lipstick container and lotion dropper. Spermwhale lotion, Swarovski zirconia's, red lipstick (Chanel) / Alka Seltzer powder-champagne bottle

11 ^4/5 × 13 ^4/5 × 5 ^1/2 in

30 × 35 × 14 cm In need of the sperm of a whale oil, known for its anti-wrinkle properties? One can find the precious substance in the Purse of Wonders, as well as other wonders, such as lipstick, drug paraphernalia, a wedding ring, and a crystal ball to predict the near future.

Seven Necessities - Trophy Helmet, 2012

Nylon, rabbit fur, leather, silver 22K gold-plated, acrylic monocular, glass loupe

15 ^7/10 × 12 ^3/5 × 11 ^4/5 in

40 × 32 × 30 cm Noten’s Trophy Helmet is the ultimate showpiece for a woman on the hunt. It represents both her valuable possessions as well as her resolve to obtain them. The beautifully crafted helmet displays the collection of rings, as well as the tools that enabled finding these symbols of eternal love, including a radar device and a telescope.

Seven Necessities - Chastity Belt, 2012

Silver 22K gold-plated, diamond, video player

13 × 9 ^1/10 × 7 ^9/10 in

33 × 23 × 20 cm

Okay, I pasted all of the explanations of the objects because I feel like it is important to know all the gadgetry that come concealed in the purse or the gun for instance.  I kinda wish that there had been an explanation for the camera lens on the chastity belt, but i'll just assume that its acting as a security camera.  Anyway, I really like this work.  It's clean, white, sexy, glamorous, and luxurious.  These implements are clearly meant for an elite class of women in a shiny, beautiful, but horrible distopian future.   These seven items are also more like consumer goods than art in some ways. I want to own these things like I want to own nice leather boots, gold jewelry, and foreign cars.  Noten is commenting on a certain class, and type of woman I think--you know that ones that used to bathe in the blood of virgins, but now just apply face cremes that contain the placenta from endangered species or stem cells from human fetus. 

From looking at Noten's other work (he was first a jewelry maker) its kinda hard for me to know what his intentions are for his work.  I think he is taking adornment to the next level obviously, but he is still creating many pieces of wearable art that I'm not sure contain much irony.  So in some ways I'm not sure that he is always poking fun at the insanely rich and vain women out there. Perhaps in some ways I think he is still pandering to them...After looking at more of his work I kinda have a bad feeling about Noten, like he really kinda believes in the time and place where these beautiful pieces would belong...

But that would be crazy. I think his Fine Art work is often times making fun of the uber wealthy.  He just does it in a pretty sneaky way sometimes.  Sometimes not though (see golden suicide pill in Beauty Mask).